I've been a SAHD for a little over a year now. I was an active duty Marine for 14+ years and was forced out due to an injury. Luckily my wife has a good job at a college and after some discussion we decided that I would go to school and stay home with the boys (2 and 11). The first year flew by and I enjoyed every second of it. I started school this last fall when my youngest boy turned two and decided to redefine the term terrible-two's. Don't get me wrong he is not a bad kid, he is just too smart for his own good and leaves me very little time to study. I'm sure that this is old hat for some of you and any advice on taming him will be appreciated. Speaking of school, I am working on my term paper for Eng 101 and my subject is stay at home dads. I figured I might be able to learn something in my quest to be the best dad I can be so please let me know if you know of any good articles or books that may be of some help. I've found plenty for the new moms out their but not very much for the dads. (which will be one of my points) I hope to hear from you all soon.
SAHD/Student
I too am a student and a SAHD. I am getting my MBA from the University of Colorado. What is nice about my program is that it is all done online, so I never have to attend a class. However, that means that everything I need to learn is self-study. What I have learned from earning my degree is:
- Prioritize for Performance. You are not be able to get everything done, so do what is most important first. Big test coming up? Make that a priority. Paper due at the same time? Figure out what is most important and do that first.
- Have a good dialog with your professor. If you are struggling or just have a simple question, do not be afraid to ask. Either talk to them after class (I assume you go to class and are not taking things online), call them or email them. Let them know you may need a little help or a little extra time to turn in an assignment. More times than not, a professor will help you out. Plus, knowing you are trying hard, having that small dialog with a professor might just help you when he has to decide between your A and B grade.
- Take time whenever you have it. I have a book bag stocked with stuff that I could be working on. When my daughter takes a nap, I break out the book bag and get something accomplished. If my wife takes her shopping, I am reading or working on a paper. Since everything I do is online, I always have my laptop with me so I can respond to emails or check the class discussion.
As for help with your paper, check out this thread: http://www.athomedad.org/node/296
The professor who did the study does a lot with SAHDs. Also, there is a guy on this site, Hogan, who wrote a book about SAHDs. Sadly, I don't know the name of it.
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My wife asked me if I had signed up for the 401k yet. I told her I hadn't. She asked me why and I told her I couldn't run that far.
Not just pulling your chain, there is a TON of stuff here. Just look past the home page. Search for any question, there's probably a thread. Lots of guys here ready to answer your questions too. Let 'em fly...
Jim
Boulder, CO
Dad to Cole, Luke & Trev
Although not a Student SAHD, I'm a WAHD, and much of the advice you gave applies to me, too. Only difference is, instead of exams, papers, and professors, I have projects, reports, and clients to deal with. So true, you have to take those bits of free time, no matter how big or small, and put them to constructive use.
I have to have a good dialogue with my clients, too, and making them aware that I am also a SAHD of two children 5 & under at home, it becomes much easier for me to fulfill my responsibilties to both my children and my clients.
And, pad the time spent on your schoolwork/client work. That is, if you think it's going to take 2 hours for a task, expect it to take 4 hours to complete. I also pad my estimates to my clients, so that I do have time for those inevitable days where I have a sick child at home, or for some other "emergency" that arises from being a SAHD.
I also echo the advice of utilizing this website as proof for the arguments ona a paper about SAHD's It will bolster the proofs for your arguments when used in conjunction with the "textbook" authorities.
JerseySteve
Joined: 2008-12-01
Dad Points: 7