At that age, she isn't holding on to many memories anyway, tell her the truth. Tell her that the kitty was sick and was hurting really bad and the kitty died. And tell her that she won't see the kitty anymore but not to be sad because the kitty isn't in pain anymore.

Don't dumb it down needlessly and don't lie to her.

-Will
gamingwithbaby.com | all your diapers are belong to us
my flickr
BRING BACK THE IRRELEVANCE!!!!

Sorry to hear about your cat. Loosing pets is hard.
Be honest. While less emotional my wife and I have a friend take our cat when we go away. When we get back my daughter, also 3, doesn’t even know he is gone until my wife or I mention that “Felix is coming home.”

Remember, at 3 your kids are just figuring out that when you are in another room you still exist. ?

Be Seeing You.

When my son was two our 1st family pet died,,, a dog. We told him matter of factly that Sheba had died,, and gone to heaven. Ayear later when grandpa died,,, we told him the Dr. couldn't make Grandpa better,,, and he died and went to heaven. My son responded,, good,,, he is with Sheba now. When our cat had to be put down,,, the same thing.
The only thing that back fired,,, 6 months ago my Father was diagnosed with cancer,, which is what his other grandpa had,, and he's picked up on. He got upset,, and siad he wasn't ready for Papa to go to heaven yet. I explained that we needed to be sure to say our prayers,, so God would help Papa get better,,, because none of us were ready for Papa to go to heaven. He was always good at his prayers,, but he never misses now. So far Papa is doing well.
Our pediatrition encouraged us to keep up with the truth,,, that he would accept it best.
For what it's worth,,,
Best of luck!

Well, she hasn't noticed the cat is not around since the first day we did not come home with it.

Thanks for the advice. I guess I knew the answer was to tell her the truth, but I was hoping I didn't have to do that. Thanks for setting me straight. Once it comes up, we will tell her what happened to him.

We just lost our guinea pig about three weeks ago. Our eleven year old was sad but dealt with it rather quickly. Our two year old just keeps looking for her but our three year old took it the hardest. She did not cry or get to mad but she kept asking why she is sleeping and why we can't see her. We explained that she is in heaven with Jesus and were as honest as we could be with her.

She is now doing ok but wonders why she the guinea pig had to die for our sins and if she liked Jesus.

So go for the truth, of course put in your values and beliefs and let her be grumpy for the next few days or so.

hey sympathies and empathies

never easy but easier for my kids because of what i do for a living i have been explaining death since they were born
kids are girl 7, boys 5 and 2 1/2

we have turned a lot of my gardens into pet cemeteries over the last couple of years

when the fish or hamster has died we carry out rituals similar to humans

the kids get to say goodbye where the pet died
then they decorate a shoe box or kleenex box or whatever
i place the pet in
ask if anyone wants to say a few words
sing a song
go outside in a procession
dig a hole and let the kids place pet in and cover up

they are pretty adjusted

main thing is honesty don't lie now because you'll get caught in the lie one day

the other thing i added to the repetoire this year was I made prayer cards the type you get at the funeral home complete with picture of the hamster and a cute little obituary mentioning all the kids by name and how they were going to miss their pet

the kids loved it and took it to school and showed their teachers, the next week as i was trying to book a speaking engagement at their school the principal mentioned that she saw what i did and thought it was pretty awesome, should be speaking and giving tours several times this year

On this and other difficult issues, the truth -- in age appropriate form -- is the only way to go. Avoiding a difficult talk is like hoping someone else will give your kid insight into the world. Tell your girl the cat died. Tell her how you will miss the cat and that the cat was the most special cat in the world to you. Tell her some of your favorite stories about the cat.

This, like so many things that come up in the day, is an opportunity to deepen a bond between you and her, and be your child's teacher of life.
Yes, you are helping her make sense of a cat's death at 3 years old...but more important, you are also giving her "unspoken rules" about what Daddy is willing to talk about, rules about how to talk with you, and preparing her for a death of more significance down the line somewhere. All this, and more - even at 3.

This is why we are here.

Mike
of LinOma Dads
(Lincoln & Omaha, NE)

We're going to be going through this soon, as we have to put my 12 yo Rottweiler down. We've been down this road before with some fish, but nothing that's as much a part of our lives as Fido.

Our kids are two and four, and we've already explained to them (at least to the 4 yo), that Fido is sick and getting very old, and it hurts him to get up and walk. Also, that someday he won't be with us.

We've already laid some other ground work. Our four yo was terrified of thunder, so we told her that it was the angels playing "rock band". Once we told her that Jerry (Garcia) was with the angels playing too it made thunder-storms much easier. Then we just added that Fido will be with Jerry and the angels listening to them play music. I don't know how or why, but it seems to work.

Scott
Stay@Home/Scott