Help! My kid won't gain weight

Kirk
Kirk's picture
Posts: 52
Joined: 2007-09-12
Dad Points: 85

Hey Dads,

My 13 month old has not gained any weight since her 1 year check-up. She is stuck at 19.5 lbs (9th %tile for her height) and it seems it has been that way for a while. We have been weighing her on the bathroom scale for about 2 months now and she is always at 19.5 lbs. She is growing taller, but not heavier.

The doctor said to start weening her off formula and the bottle, but we are afraid to do so because when we first started to ween, she was eating the same amount of food that she was before the ween, and we are afraid of weight loss. So, back on the bottle she went, but no more formula, just whole milk.

The feeding cycle looks something like this:
7:00am- wake-up and drinks 6 ounces or so of whole milk
7:30am- fruit (usually strawberries, raspberries, blackberries and/or banana) and sometimes she'll eat oatmeal, but if she does, it is only a 3-4 spoonfuls
Playtime and nap
Post-nap- another 5-8 ounces of whole milk
1.5-2.5 hours after bottle- force feed whatever she'll eat (fruit, mac n cheese, chicken, turkey, ham, cheese, last night's dinner, etc)
Playtime and nap
Post-nap- another 5-8 ounces of milk
Dinner time- table food of whatever we are eating
Bedtime- as much milk as she wants to drink
If we are out and about during the day, she will eat crackers, goldfish and/or cherrios

She will not eat baby food anymore and is never consistent as to what she'll eat. One day she'll eat a whole egg and the next she won't touch it.

If you guys have any ideas, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!




abrauner
Posts: 5
Joined: 2008-06-24
Dad Points: 5
You're micromanaging, fella

Kids, being living creatures, eat to sustain themselves. If you regularly make food available in front of them that is nutritious, you've done your job.
If the kid wants to eat a pound of goat cheese and one lick of strawberry, why do you care?
I was much the same way as you with my first kid, micromanaging every mouthful. I learned my lesson when the kid went perverse and decided to eat nothing but noodles for the last five years. I blame this in no small measure on the energy he must have picked up on -- "everyone wants me to eat this!"
Little ones live in a world in which they cannot control much. Since we all need to control something, they often control what they can, even if it makes no "rational" sense. The three things a toddler can control are: food, waste, sleep. You can try to make them change how they do those things, but ultimately they are in control.
Your kid is in a lower percentile, but you are doing the right thing checking with the doc. Do as the doc says -- period. Don't overanalyze the results or count bites.
I would make three major meals available a day, plus a morning and afternoon snack. Make this your habit, so that you and the kid know what's coming. If the kid doesn't eat dinner and goes to bed hungry -- that was the kid's choice. They are young, but not too young to learn the relationship between cause and effect. If they're hungry in the middle of the night, you don't owe them anything. Repeat: You do not owe them an explanation (although you could offer one so they see the link between eating and hunger), and certainly not an apology.
When they whine that they're hungry, stay strong, no two-in-the-morning snacks. And stay on your daily schedule of feeding and on the menu you originally thought best. They can survive a few hungry hours. It will save you years of this stuff in the future if they get used to it now.
This is meant not to be mean to them, but to set clear limits on what you will and won't do. Knowing where the limits are, testing them, and then becoming satisfied with the results is the toddler code.



Mr. Dad
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Posts: 163
Joined: 2008-03-07
Dad Points: 232
6% Baby

My 3 YO daughter was only at 6% for weight at her 12 month check up. I think she shot up to 12% at 2 year check up, and was 33% at her 3 year check up. Anyways, don't worry too much as long as your daughter is healthy. We weened ours off formula right at 12 months, but used the bottle for another month or so with whole milk. She also did not eat anymore for a while. She typically got milk in the morning and evening before bed. Very much like your daughter she was a picky eater. We switched to sippy cups with milk morning and night (plus meals) around 15-16 months with our first. You can try Nuby Sippy cups. They have a soft tip and are very much like a bottle, so they worked great for the transition.

I see your daughter is 9% for height. Ours was low in height to, so understand when they are shorter, they may weigh less. Goes hand in hand.

I would also add that our oldest would go months without gaining a pound, so not gaining since her one month check up is no big deal. When she was between 2 and 3 she was 24lbs for 6 months. She is now a wopping 27lbs at 3 years, but the Doctor has always said "she is healthy, so I am not worried". Don't get wrapped up in the percentages. Babies/people come in all shapes and sizes and develop at different rates. The percentages are just a guideline, and not being 50% does not mean you your child is not normal.

I also wonder if you or your wife were small as babys? I was a picky eater as a baby and my daughter has taken after me. I was very skinny as a child, but healthy.

Our 2nd daughter is now 16 months, but she also was not a good eater at 12 -14 months, but she is getting much better. Now she outeats our 3 YO. Last night our 3 YO ate 4 small noodles, and some corn, but then asked for a bananna and ate the whole thing. VERY PICKY EATER! Hates pizza, spaghetti with "red" sauce, PB & J... most kids favorites. However she loves fruit and most veggies like yours, and did so at 13 months too.

Try these:
Other fruit - Cantelope sliced up, Pear Slices (canned is what we used), Peach Slices (canned), Manderin oranges (canned)
Yogurt - Whipped Yoplait are our daughters favorites
Chicken Strips - frozen in a bag are best because you can microwave them quickly when needed
Veggies - Our kids loved frozen veggies (probably for teething) at 12 - 18 months. Try Beans and corn, but our oldest also loved frozen broccoli
Potato foods - Try Smiles by McCain Foods or any tater tot type potato
Toast with Butter or Jelly/Jam or Peanut Butter (we used soy peanut butter to avoid allergies)
Noodle Meals Our daughters like the Bertolli Frozen Noodle meals - In freezer section in bags
Any Finger Foods Remember your 13 month is learning to make the switch to solid foods, so use finger foods to encourage her to explore the foods vs. giving foods you spoon feed. They make a mess, but it works. Our 16 month now insists on spoon feeding herself yogurt now.

Unless your Doctor has told you otherwise, I would stop weighing her at home so much. I think you may just be stressing yourself for no reason. Our daughter was 6% and she survived. You have almost the identical feeding schedule we had with her, so just keep it up. Try some of the things we used as well as other suggestions that are sure to follow.



Kirk
Kirk's picture
Posts: 52
Joined: 2007-09-12
Dad Points: 85
Correction

Thanks for the advice guys...makes me feel a little better.

Correction: My daughter is in the 90th %tile for height, not 9th.

**************************
My wife asked me if I had signed up for the 401k yet. I told her I hadn't. She asked me why and I told her I couldn't run that far.



Mr. Dad
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Posts: 163
Joined: 2008-03-07
Dad Points: 232
Still OK

She is just tall and skinny. You are still good. They often gain inches in height, but no weight.



mikeSAHD
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Posts: 53
Joined: 2008-05-20
Dad Points: 61
It's not too surprising...

1) that you may have a picky eater...I think most kids get picky at one time or another. Our son eats like crazy, but every now and then he will decide that he doesn't want to eat something and spits it out of his mouth.

2) to see growth in height but not weight, especially if she is really active (e.g., crawling, walking, playing).

I agree with Mr. Dad. Try other foods, especially FULL FAT yogurts. We buy YoBaby yogurt by Stonyfield. Also try some cheeses... Both are high in fat and rich in calcium. Although you may not want to use peanut butter (depending on whether you have a family history of peanut allergies), you might want to consider almond butter. Our ped suggested this as a PB alternative at our 12-month visit, but confirm with your ped first.

Get creative. When our son stopped eating chicken (cold turkey, I might add), I ground it up and mixed it in with rice and veggies.

Good luck!



bkokorowski
Posts: 10
Joined: 2008-03-05
Dad Points: 19
I totally agree with abrauner!

Your daughter should be in control of how much she eats and whether or not she eats at all - she's the only one who knows if she's hungry. Even if she is hungry she may choose not to eat as part of a control issue. Let it be her issue - not yours. You are in control of what foods are being offered to her and when those foods are offered. The trick is to not pressure her, positively (praise for eating) or negatively (scolding for not eating, force feeding!!). Up until around 3 years of age children are really good about listening to the satiety center of their brain. They won't overeat and conversely, as long as food is made available and the child doesn't have a medical or metabolic issue, they won't undereat either. Put healthy food on the table at least 5 times/day (meals and snacks) and let her eat (or not eat) her fill. Wean her from the bottle - sometimes kids won't "eat" because they are drinking so much! In my ten years as a registered dietitian working with families and young children I have yet to see a child starve themselves (unless major abuse or psychological issues were in play). Relax a little. Enjoy the food and your daughter!



ticktock
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Posts: 777
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1355
Ruining her appetite...

My one year old is only 17 pounds and I'm not worried at all. As long as she's eating, which she is, it isn't a problem. Plus, you can't expect lots of weight gain in one month. Is the doctor pressuring you or something? Most kids ruin the curve by being too overweight, so don't worry about it.

This is counter-intuitive, but cut back on the whole milk at typical bottle times. You are giving way too much milk at odd hours in my opinion, and your daughter is not eating lunch because she's not hungry after all her milk. It's time to transition to normal breakfast, lunch, and dinner meals with food and drink at those times. Try water or juice as a your snacktime refreshment... and not so much of it. And switch to fruits at those times instead of at breakfast.

Try toast with butter for breakfast. Just let her gnaw on it and go to town.

Try hot dogs or other easy meats for lunch.

..........................................
http://www.altparenting.com



BackpackingDad
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Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
This is weird

I left a comment about too much whole milk (just according to my pediatrician, fwiw), and also that my daughter hasn't really gained since 9 months (she's 14 now), so I don't know how worried I would be over it.

But the comment disappeared.

http://backpackingdad.blogspot.com



LordSetta
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Posts: 40
Joined: 2008-07-27
Dad Points: 118
My input.

I had a peditrician that said.. If all your kids wants to eat is beans and weiners for god sakes give him beans and weiners atleats he is eating something that has some nutrician in it. if all they want to eat is mac and cheese hey they are eating when they are that young you don't have to worry as much about obseity. But he said he didn't mean let the kid gorge on crap either offer him/her a variety of foods.. liek someone said before give them food for breakfast lunch and dinner and two snacks. Don't work yourself up over it. Like he said thats the thing a kid has control over so the kid is gonna ecxersise that when ever possible and if the kid sees you getting worked up over it they will think...hey I am getting a rise out of daddy this is fun and they will do it further just to get a rise out of you.



carlospinheiro
Posts: 1
Joined: 2008-10-14
Dad Points: 1
not gaining weight

My son is 21 months and 201/2 pound. The doc yesterday order some blood tests to see if he has anything wrong.
I do NOT think anything is wrong but, we never know. My wife went to the hospital for the blood testes and the nurses
could not find his veins, so he was crying and crying. They should have some type of "vein finder"at EVERY hospital
to be used for this purpose. We are in Lowell,Massachusetts. We will be waiting for the teste results.



Itux
Itux's picture
Posts: 132
Joined: 2007-09-17
Dad Points: 221
bmi is the important factor

My son is a really picky eater, next week He will be 3 yo, and his weight is just 30 Pounds. Still I'm not so worried about that, because He is really active at home and He has lots of energy. So I check his bmi and it seems to be OK.

BMI = [weight / (height x height)] x 703

Basically, for kids, it depends of the genre, age, weight and height, but you can compare your kids bmi with the chart and know for sure if they are doing fine.

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/usefultools/l/bl_bmi_calc.htm

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Itux



KPHart
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Posts: 29
Joined: 2007-02-09
Dad Points: 34
Vein Finder

If they can not hit a vein, go to a Children's Hospital. And if they have trouble, get an anesthesiologist, they always had the best luck for our daughter. We have always had trouble with our daughter until just this year (she is 6). They even tried an artery stick one time.

I hope all the tests come out OK.



Poomaster
Posts: 9
Joined: 2008-08-19
Dad Points: 13
IF you don't mind diabetes

There is always Mcdonalds.

Seriously if she is eating who cares. The girl I talk to know her son is one and weighs about 17 pounds fits in 6 month clothes.
He is fine and happy plays like a maniac.
I would be worried if she started losing weight really fast
Ahh what do I know

PooMaster
http://www.pooplatter.com



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