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This site should have a secret handshake ...

Cos
Posts: 19
 Joined: 2008-04-23
 Dad Points: 23

... in order to view the content.

Wifey found this site and passed it on to me and I dig it, I follow it, I'm making comments and now I contribute my first topic. My problem? Wifey found this site.

"Did you know they have a convention? ... I read this post about a guy adjusting to being a stay at home dad .... "

Yip, I know about that convention. Yip, I read that same post (I commented on it).

So at risk of causing a bit of a slippery situation in my house I feel somewhat moderated in how I'd like to express myself here. We spoke about it a little the other night and she said she wouldn't visit the site so that I could have an outlet. With something as easy as pulling up a web page and knowing that this is a potential outlet ... forgive me for thinking that I don't know if I can rely on the honor system.

What's a guy to do when he's looking to post a topic/comment about relationship issues, parenting tactics, venting and so forth when risking those things just flying into the "wrong hands?"

I think we all share a degree of issues and struggles about being AHD's and having a resource like this site is fantastic provided it's *your* resource. Who would say the things they say in therapy/counseling if a certain third party was just sitting there in the room?

Does anybody else deal with this issue? Maybe you do but you don't want to say so because, well, you're dealing with this issue.

Tnx!


‹ You spent how much? On what? How the other half lives. ›

Submitted by Cos on Wed, 04/30/2008 - 3:30pm.

JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 662
 Joined: 2006-11-17
 Dad Points: 957
well...

if you are logged out, you can post anonymously. But, you can't comment. She will probably get bored with it after a while. I think it's just a matter of trust. But, the bigger deal you make, the more she will think you have something to hide. How does your wife like my posts? I would love to hear her comments.


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 3:51pm

dbrigham
dbrigham's picture
Posts: 276
 Joined: 2007-09-20
 Dad Points: 371
i can relate

When I first found the site and started posting, my wife liked to read over my shoulder at what went on here. Lately, however, she doesn't seem to care, but I'm still careful what I write here because she can stop by any time she wants. I think she cares more these days about online chatting with her sister and Googling our neighbors to dig up dirt on them! So I'm probably safe now.

www.davebrigham.com


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 3:53pm

mbieweng
Posts: 395
 Joined: 2006-10-31
 Dad Points: 1231
Anonymous

I'm been thinking about this issue for a while, but I don't have any great ideas on what to do about it (as far as website features go). If anyone does, lets hear them.

For now, there's always the anonymous Q&A section as a start:

http://www.athomedad.org/view/qa

(log out to post there...)


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 4:13pm

Cos
Posts: 19
 Joined: 2008-04-23
 Dad Points: 23
Anonymous

Posting anonymous is definitely one way to go about it. However, I like the idea of getting to know guys on here, being able to be personal and relate. If I am to find myself headed to the conference I'd like to not be posting in the shadows for months prior.

I'm going to give it a shot and go with the honor system. This thread is an example of that. Things are absolutely fine at this point ... but you never know what topics are going to get brought up and the mood you're in at the time you start posting - that's where some shit could be said that might not go over very well with a housemate.

Peace.


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 5:50pm

ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 777
 Joined: 2006-11-06
 Dad Points: 1355
One time I made a reply on

One time I made a reply on another forum that my wife saw (I left it on the screen accidentally), and it was really really bad. I posted an e-mail reply from her that was relevant to the thread-topic, and everybody on the forum was calling her an "idiot" and other unkind words. My face went red when she called me on it, and I promised to never make that mistake again. But, I can't blame her for finding it because I was stupid enough to leave it up on the screen for all to see, and obviously stupid enough to post her private message to me. KNUCKLE HEAD!!!

My wife says that she wouldn't read my posts ever, and that it wouldn't even cross her mind to do that. The same thing with her running moms forum- I give her the space and don't snoop on her either.

My take is that anything she might read would only serve to facillitate communication between us anyway. And, besides, it's rude to complain about her on a forum if it wasn't something I would say to her face anyway. Right? A good example would be the scenario I just described. I posted something that I wouldn't say to her face, and it brought us closer together...eventually- after I slept on the couch for a night. ;)

..........................................
http://www.altparenting.com


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 6:57pm

dayv27
dayv27's picture
Posts: 364
 Joined: 2006-11-03
 Dad Points: 657
Troll

Create an alternate identity. If you need to post something that you might be concerned with you're wife seeing, but you can't respond annonymously, create an alternate personality. I post on a goalie forum as my alter ego under an assumed back-up goalie's name.

www.athomedadconvention.com


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 7:07pm

JPhillip
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Posts: 662
 Joined: 2006-11-17
 Dad Points: 957
Sweet idea.

Nice, Dayv.


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 8:26pm

JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 662
 Joined: 2006-11-17
 Dad Points: 957
Also,

TickTock, wasn't it your wife that gave some advice here one time? Or, was it Randy's wife? Maybe about planning or parks or something? She sounded really smart. I think smart chicks are hot.


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 8:28pm

ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 777
 Joined: 2006-11-06
 Dad Points: 1355
Stay away from her, ya hairy ape!!!

It was my wife, but I asked her for the advice and copy and pasted from an e-mail.

And I told her all about how people were saying that her intelligence was sexy. She snorted a pig laugh while pushing up the glasses on the bridge of her nose and arranging the pens in her pocket protector. Just thinking about it turns me on. YOWZA!!!
..........................................
http://www.altparenting.com


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 9:01pm

JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 662
 Joined: 2006-11-17
 Dad Points: 957
You Lucky dog.

Post a pic. I'll trade ya.


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 9:03pm

Gaming with Baby
Posts: 550
 Joined: 2007-08-15
 Dad Points: 812
My wife read this

She read what I write. She reads what you write. But, she's not psycho like so many, so it's cool.

Hi babe!

-Will
gamingwithbaby.com | all your diapers are belong to us
my flickr


Wed, 04/30/2008 - 11:27pm

Itux
Itux's picture
Posts: 132
 Joined: 2007-09-17
 Dad Points: 221
My other half

Actually my other half was the one who gave me this web address. Eventually she ask me about "whats going up" here but most of the time I'm the one who tells her what is happening in the forum.

If you want to vent something "hot", do it annonymously and then log in and be the first to comment.

======================
Congregatio pro erudio et auxilium
Information Technology User X
Itux


Thu, 05/01/2008 - 12:10am

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